1. Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H

   

2. Roses in the Mouth of a Lion by Bushra Rehman

   

3. Living to 99 by Mx. Yaffa

   

4. We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib

   

5. Who is Wellness for? by Fariha Roisin

Ramadan Mubarak ! Each one of these books have marked pretty important points on my own queer journey and exploration of faith. As I am writing this, it is the first week of Ramadan, our holiest month of the year, a time of fasting and reflection. I've read 3 out of 5 of these books and this year I'll be picking up Living to 99 by Mx. Yaffa as my Ramadan read. What are you reading this month?

Making this list is bringing up a lot so here are just some reflections I've had in the last few years as a queer Pakistani Muslim that has only found my experience reflected in very few forms of media. I don't expect to find a whole lot more, but who knows! Maybe there are spaces in publishing opening up for work like this.

A few Ramadans ago, I caught COVID from my sister. I was asymptomatic (and mad as hell as someone who masks in every public space), quarantined in my room, and I refused to miss a single fast (highly do not recommend fasting when you are physically unable), so I picked up the Quran again. I had not picked it up in a few years and I had recently found an updated translation and a recitation app to accompany (the app is called Qariyah and it has recitations from women all around the world) so I started reading from beginning to end. It was during this period that I saw two realities within me (being Muslim and being queer) and I simply did not know what to do with them. They felt completely unrelated to one another, if the Muslims around me were to be believed. I didn't trust or believe anyone by that point on topics of queerness since so few of them seemed to stem from people who believed in Islam in particular, but I also had no idea how to speak about faith, culture, and identity in relation to each other. I was craving language, guidance, and at least one example of a human like me. I, like many queer people of faith, had to make a reality of my own to live comfortably, otherwise I may have gone insane. The fear, the loneliness, the alienation, I was able to find some reflections from other queer people, but never queer Muslim people. I'm really grateful that I had a good therapist that helped me a lot in the beginning, talking about it to one person openly led to a lot of new pathways in my mind. But the pandemic stopped me from meeting new people in person in an organic way.

So naturally, the first queer community I found was on tiktok. It was the first place I said anything about queerness out loud to anyone other than my therapist. When people responded back, that was a completely eye-opening moment for me. I didn't know people like me existed. I knew vaguely that we must be out there, of course, but when you're surrounded by a sea of very cis, very straight, Muslim people, it can be difficult to even see anything beyond their stifling expectations and perception they place onto you. I didn't realize I could have the communal aspect that I was so used to growing up, and that was so important in my faith, but with chosen queer and trans friends and family from all over the place and from many different religious/spiritual backgrounds. I'm so lucky that I have formed real life friendships with people from an app so nebulous and often terribly unreliable. I'm still very introverted and difficult to pull out of my house since COVID is still a reality and many queer spaces are not masked. But 5 years in, I've found some pretty cool people.

The main way I connected with them was of course, through reading and sharing books. Hijab Butch Blues, for example, was the first queer memoir that really spoke to me. I was sent that book as an advance reader copy from Penguin Random House and to this day, it is the most incredible book mail I've ever received. Who Is Wellness For? by Fariha Roisin was the first time book I read by a queer South Asian author that talked about wellness culture, and abuse in Muslim households, and held it all together into a really incredible book that to this day I hand to people in my life. Roses in the Mouth of a Lion was the first fiction book I saw with a queer Pakistani kid as the main character. Meeting Razia and following her story warmed my heart. I was to able to even meet the author and tell her that in person. The last two books on this list, I haven't read yet. We Have Always Been Here triggered a lot when I picked it up 2 years ago. I'm hoping this will be my read for the trans rights readathon (co ming up in just a couple weeks!). The last book, Living to 99, has been incredible to pick up. I started it on the first of Ramadan and I'm slowly making my way through this collection of beautiful reflections on the 99 names. Hopefully this is the book that puts me back in the reviewing mindset.

Thank you for reading this post and if you pick up any of these books, let me know! I love chatting about these books and will often go on about them for a very long time. Please do your best to support queer and trans Muslim authors and creatives. Our communities are marginalized within an already marginalized identity (even more so when you land at different intersections). Our stories are often exploited and claimed by people outside of our communities when it benefits them. If you are Muslim and you found your way here, ask yourself how you can support trans and queer Muslims in your community. If you're not Muslim and you read this far, learn about the queer Muslim organizations, leadership, and communities that often run parallel to so many conversations in queer community spaces. Read about us, share our work, support us vocally and in your circles.

You can purchase these books here through my bookshop page, just click on the book and under buying options, click bookshop. I do not have an amazon shop page. If you would just like to check out these titles, you can request them at your local library. <3